In Birthday Month, I detailed how I navigate the fall and Halloween festivities. While it may not have seemed like an ideal starting point it was necessary as it corresponds to his birthday. As you read some of those outings count as birthday gifts from my friends. If you didn’t get that far, do yourself a favor and go finish the blog lol!! Next, we will detail how I decide on parties, themes, and the like. To party or not to party, that’s always the question. The top three questions I ask myself when deciding whether or not to have a party, “Can I afford it?” “Do I want to be bothered with people?”, ” Can I use this money to celebrate in a more memorable way?” From there I either decide yay or nay.

Each year is different, different parenting challenges, different childhood phases, and yes, even different feelings on whether or not to do a party. Before kids, I always said I wasn’t wasting money on an extravagant first birthday party and it is safe to say I lied. It wasn’t as extravagant as it could’ve been BUT it was big enough. How did I arrive at the conclusion, well his first year of life was tumultuous for me emotionally and I wanted him to be surrounded by people who loved him, who celebrated him, people who were happy he was born. Hell, people who loved me. His first birthday party was necessary, quite possibly for me more than for him. It was the best party he’s ever had, and not because of its extravagance but because of the love and support we received on that day. I will always hold that party close to my heart. His second birthday was my first year in Real Estate and well I just couldn’t afford a party. I settled on a family dinner at a pizza restaurant and never felt bad about it. His third birthday was during the pandemic (before vaccines) and it was also the first time he was completely aware that it was his birthday. For those reasons, I decided on a party, in-home, two guests, ut loads of presents and a big balloon display outside. He was and still is thrilled, his favorite thing, the balloon display…and yes, this counted as a gift. His fourth birthday was supposed to be a trip to Disney but the vaccines for his age group had yet to be approved and I couldn’t bring myself to take him to Florida of all places unvaccinated. I canceled the trip and gave him a party as a consultation prize. Each year truly ebbs and flows, and has changes and challenges of its own. Be kind to yourself, be flexible, and do what works best for you and your family.

After deciding to throw a party, my second step is to decide what I want and don’t want to do. For example, I DO NOT want to clean up the house for the party, decorate, AND clean up once everyone leaves. Maintaining the house during the week is hectic enough, I can’t imagine cleaning to entertain loads of people. I am willing to sacrifice and pay someone else to do that, hence the reason choosing a theme is important as it determines venues. I also don’t want people haphazardly lounging around my house once the party is over for this reason alone if we are partying the party will be at a venue. Now that he’s in school deciding whether or not to invite the class is “a thing”. Last year I did it simply because it was his first year; while we are not having a party this year if we were, I would not have done the same thing…..which leads to my next point, decide capacity. Some people are willing to do 60 people, I am not. Anything over 14 kids is too many. This is also a really good place to decide your budget!!

Usually, the third step is to decide on a birthday theme. This takes me a lot longer than it probably should but it is what it is, lol. His half birthday is in May so I like to pick 5-7 things (characters, sports, music, etc) I know he likes “pre-plan” decorations and such in mind and get a general idea. Once I no longer like the idea, or he no longer likes the theme I toss that out. By August at the latest, I’ll have a theme. Once I have a theme I can decide on a venue. Pick three that fit your budget, all should be slightly under budget that way you aren’t too far over if they convince you to purchase an upsell.

Pro Tip: One, try to get a venue that provides goodie bags as it will be one less hassle for you. However, if that’s not possible, the dollar store is your best friend.

Pro Tip #2: Don’t be afraid to have an “exclusive” birthday event for your child. Sounds expensive right? Not my version lol! If your child is old enough have them pick 2-3 other friends that can accompany them for a child-appropriate movie and maybe pizza afterwards. Also, don’t be afraid to do a virtual movie night. These can be incredibly economical. I actually planned one for my son’s third birthday (the COVID one) then changed my mind.

If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m an overthinker! A lot of what I do can probably be combined into fewer steps, so if after reading the blogs and you feel you can combine steps, do what you do Mama! My take home for deciding on whether or not to party is simple, decide if it’s worth it, then set boundaries for yourself. Once you set boundaries for yourself stick to them. You will thank yourself in the long-run.