Category Archives: Money Saving Outings

In The Illustrious Words of DMX, “Party Up”

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In Birthday Month, I detailed how I navigate the fall and Halloween festivities. While it may not have seemed like an ideal starting point it was necessary as it corresponds to his birthday. As you read some of those outings count as birthday gifts from my friends. If you didn’t get that far, do yourself a favor and go finish the blog lol!! Next, we will detail how I decide on parties, themes, and the like. To party or not to party, that’s always the question. The top three questions I ask myself when deciding whether or not to have a party, “Can I afford it?” “Do I want to be bothered with people?”, ” Can I use this money to celebrate in a more memorable way?” From there I either decide yay or nay.

Each year is different, different parenting challenges, different childhood phases, and yes, even different feelings on whether or not to do a party. Before kids, I always said I wasn’t wasting money on an extravagant first birthday party and it is safe to say I lied. It wasn’t as extravagant as it could’ve been BUT it was big enough. How did I arrive at the conclusion, well his first year of life was tumultuous for me emotionally and I wanted him to be surrounded by people who loved him, who celebrated him, people who were happy he was born. Hell, people who loved me. His first birthday party was necessary, quite possibly for me more than for him. It was the best party he’s ever had, and not because of its extravagance but because of the love and support we received on that day. I will always hold that party close to my heart. His second birthday was my first year in Real Estate and well I just couldn’t afford a party. I settled on a family dinner at a pizza restaurant and never felt bad about it. His third birthday was during the pandemic (before vaccines) and it was also the first time he was completely aware that it was his birthday. For those reasons, I decided on a party, in-home, two guests, ut loads of presents and a big balloon display outside. He was and still is thrilled, his favorite thing, the balloon display…and yes, this counted as a gift. His fourth birthday was supposed to be a trip to Disney but the vaccines for his age group had yet to be approved and I couldn’t bring myself to take him to Florida of all places unvaccinated. I canceled the trip and gave him a party as a consultation prize. Each year truly ebbs and flows, and has changes and challenges of its own. Be kind to yourself, be flexible, and do what works best for you and your family.

After deciding to throw a party, my second step is to decide what I want and don’t want to do. For example, I DO NOT want to clean up the house for the party, decorate, AND clean up once everyone leaves. Maintaining the house during the week is hectic enough, I can’t imagine cleaning to entertain loads of people. I am willing to sacrifice and pay someone else to do that, hence the reason choosing a theme is important as it determines venues. I also don’t want people haphazardly lounging around my house once the party is over for this reason alone if we are partying the party will be at a venue. Now that he’s in school deciding whether or not to invite the class is “a thing”. Last year I did it simply because it was his first year; while we are not having a party this year if we were, I would not have done the same thing…..which leads to my next point, decide capacity. Some people are willing to do 60 people, I am not. Anything over 14 kids is too many. This is also a really good place to decide your budget!!

Usually, the third step is to decide on a birthday theme. This takes me a lot longer than it probably should but it is what it is, lol. His half birthday is in May so I like to pick 5-7 things (characters, sports, music, etc) I know he likes “pre-plan” decorations and such in mind and get a general idea. Once I no longer like the idea, or he no longer likes the theme I toss that out. By August at the latest, I’ll have a theme. Once I have a theme I can decide on a venue. Pick three that fit your budget, all should be slightly under budget that way you aren’t too far over if they convince you to purchase an upsell.

Pro Tip: One, try to get a venue that provides goodie bags as it will be one less hassle for you. However, if that’s not possible, the dollar store is your best friend.

Pro Tip #2: Don’t be afraid to have an “exclusive” birthday event for your child. Sounds expensive right? Not my version lol! If your child is old enough have them pick 2-3 other friends that can accompany them for a child-appropriate movie and maybe pizza afterwards. Also, don’t be afraid to do a virtual movie night. These can be incredibly economical. I actually planned one for my son’s third birthday (the COVID one) then changed my mind.

If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m an overthinker! A lot of what I do can probably be combined into fewer steps, so if after reading the blogs and you feel you can combine steps, do what you do Mama! My take home for deciding on whether or not to party is simple, decide if it’s worth it, then set boundaries for yourself. Once you set boundaries for yourself stick to them. You will thank yourself in the long-run.

Birthday Month!!!!!

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Remember I told you all the fall season is like my single mama Superbowl??? Well, it totally is! September is back to school-ish but it also marks the start of most fall festivals; October, is the peak month for fall festivals and Halloween, and November is my son’s birthday month….and Thanksgiving. Needless to say if not planned properly fall can be overwhelming and certainly a financial crunch. Yet, my son always seems to come out on “top” and there are a few reasons for that. In this month’s series, I’ll talk through my planning process, my selection of birthday gifts, how I decide to do parties, and all of the jazz that makes the fall season and birthdays special. Since fall festivals typically begin before November we’ll start there.

First off, I plan. I have to…I don’t do too well without at least an outline of a plan. Bare bones planning usually takes place at the beginning of the year when I am goal planning. For me, bare-bones planning consists of me listing out different events I know will occur in whatever season or month (if I have that info) and maybe an approximation of how much it costs. For example, I know the fall season means school pictures, his school’s bookfair, the school walkathon, several October Fest, class birthday parties, pumpkin patches, apple picking, parades, the UniverSoul Circus, Halloween parades(both the school and the neighborhood’s), his class Halloween party, and at least one football game I will want to take him to. Now, realistically that’s not all of the events that occur in the fall, it’s just a list of things we tend to do. This skeletal outline of sorts allows me to place holds on my calendar (read https://chroniclesofasinglemom.home.blog/2022/09/14/tips-to-master-your-calendar/ for more information on how I organize my calendar). The holds keep me from potentially taking on more than I can both attend and afford. A hidden perk of the skeletal outline is having an idea of how much to save, or what coupons to look for.

After creating a skeletal outline of my calendar, I do two things, one, I already know which invites to decline. This year we said no to all birthday party invites from his classmates. Sorry, kids. We didn’t have the time, I didn’t have the money AND all of this is in synchronized harmony because he’s not having a party this year so it doesn’t look as if I am cheating out of other parties while expecting gifts. Secondly, I pencil (not really since it’s my google calendar) his sports lessons, and try to leave at least one day blocked for rest. The rest day is essential because it blocks off time in case something comes up that I decide to do, but also it’s a day for us to do nothing:)

Third, and for me this is the fun part-figuring out who to do what with. I have a fair amount of friends with children that are my son’s age and we try to get the kids together quarterly (minimum). Fall activities are a great time to connect, the weather is generally perfect and as an only child he now has someone to enjoy the adventure with. A hidden perk of my son’s birthday being in the fall is he gets to hit a few of these places as birthday presents. Yup, you read that right. My friends are ALWAYS asking what to get him, and my answer changed from nothing to “well, pay for his admission on our outing.” Guess what, they don’t mind at all. Paying for his admission to a fall activity is much easier than wrecking one’s brain to find the perfect gift, trying to remember a gift receipt in case he gets two of the same gift, or worse consoling their child who just threw a tantrum because they want the same toy. It’s a win-win situation for both me and said friend. We will cover more of my gifting hacks in a later blog.

Lastly, saving is great and all but a good coupon will give you life lol!!!! If you haven’t figured it out by now I am frugal. I’m not necessarily cheap BUT I love a good deal. Fall festivities, Halloween, a fall birthday, and both major holidays can wreak havoc on your bank account. Enters coupons! Now, most times coupons are hard to find for fall fest. Look for coupons and discount codes from your child’s school or daycare, and the library. Here in Chicago, our libraries have free passes for different museums and exhibits. The trick is getting those passes at the right time. Secondly, use Groupon and Krazy Coupon Lady. These are my go -tos and they rarely let me down. Actually, I got my son’s birthday trip from Krazy Coupon lady:) It’s also a good idea to sign up for the parent magazines and websites in your area. These are hubs of children’s info and they always give activities, and a lot of times they’ll inform you of when the free or deeply discounted days are. Also, know who the mom/children’s social media influencers are in your area and, be sure to follow their pages. They know everything. Finally, don’t be afraid to go on an attraction’s website and look for discounted days. It may be a Friday evening or something odd like that but if you can take some time off work and go!

In closing, if I had to bulletpoint how I navigate the fall season it would look like this: plan ahead, save, narrow down what you really want to do, don’t overbook yourself or your child, think outside of the box, and most importantly find coupons. These points will get you through the fall season without breaking the bank, especially if you have a fall baby. Let’s help one another, leave your fall fest hacks in the comments below!